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Counselor's Corner: Message from Ms. Carla 8.27.26

Counseling
carla

Hello Cascade Ridge Families!

I am Ms. Carla, your School Counselor. I am SO excited to see our students returning to Cascade Ridge! I will support with school-wide programs, visit each classroom to teach lessons, facilitate small group learning based on need, and meet one-on-one with students to support social/emotional well-being. Please feel free to reach out to me if you have questions about the school counseling program, or would like social-emotional support for your child.

For some students, returning to school can bring on big feelings. Below you will find strategies and resources including books and activities your family can use to process feelings about change and separation.

Separation Anxiety Resources:  The first couple of days back can be exciting, tiring, and hopeful. As students return to their school year schedules, getting up early, and building the stamina needed to attend a full school day, it is typical for families to experience the “growing pains” that accompany any major change. Your student may feel more tired than usual these first few days, which is to be expected! Some students may also experience challenges with separation from you and may exhibit school avoidance behaviors as a result. Below you will find strategies for separation anxiety that I hope you will find helpful. If this persists for more than a couple of weeks, please feel free to reach out to me for additional support.  See below for more in-depth details and examples for implementing the strategies listed below.

Strategies for students who struggle with separation:

  1. Using transitional objects
  2. Leaving a picture of yourself or your family with the child
  3. Shift the focus from the separation to their next connection with you
  4. Using the stepladder approach
  5. Using social stories or books to equip your child
  6. Using consistent goodbye rituals

Please reach out to me anytime with concerns regarding your child’s social-emotional well-being.

Ms. Carla (she/her)
Carla Geraci, M.Ed.
School Counselor -  Cascade Ridge Elementary
Geracic@issaquah.wednet.edu
(425) 837-5556
https://cascaderidge.isd411.org/student-life/counseling

 

Supporting Your Child with School Refusal due to 
Separation Anxiety

Here are some general strategies for setting your student up for good attendance habits! https://www.attendanceworks.org/resources/handouts-for-families/


1. TRANSITIONAL OBJECT

A transitional object is simply an item that provides comfort. You can give your child an object, and have them give one to you. You can have a conversation about the object and even both physically give it hugs and kisses. You can say, “When you miss me, touch the object and know that it is me giving you a kiss or hug and I will do the same!”

  • A small object they can keep in their pocket: 
    • A piece of string (goes with the book “The Invisible String” – see #5)
    • A coin
    • A small stone or make your own worry stone (goes with the book “Alma & The Worry Stone” - see #5)
  • A locket with a picture, or a simple necklace or bracelet (you can make one together)
  • A special scarf so the child can wrap themselves in a hug

You can read more on transitional objects from the American Academy of Pediatrics here.

2. LEAVE A PICTURE (this can be a small picture taped to the top of or inside their desk)

Leaving a picture or yourself with your child can be a powerful way to give them courage when you’re apart. Oxytocin is often called “the bonding hormone” because it is released when we do physical activities that draw us together. It plays a part in reducing stress and anxiety. If oxytocin reduces anxiety, and we can trigger oxytocin by looking at a picture of someone we love, then leaving a picture with our child ought to help!

3. SHIFT THE FOCUS FROM THE SEPARATION TO THEIR NEXT CONNECTION WITH YOU

Given that drop-off is a time of separation, shift the focus to the next point of connection. Rather than focusing on drop off, as in, “Bye my darling, have a great day,” shift their focus to when they will see you next. This can be done by finding rituals to tie drop off with pick up (or the next time they see you).

  • Invite them to choose a book/show/activity that you will experience together when they see you.
     
  • Pick a topic from their school day that they can share with you upon pick-up. You can come up with a “bank” of topics together, write them on strips of paper, and have them choose one out of a hat in the morning. This can help get them excited about going to school and sharing with you later.

Some ideas include:

  • Describe something from the wall of your classroom

  • What is something you learned in math today? (you can do one for each subject)

  • What did your friend bring for snack?

  • How many stairs do you go down to get to your class?

  • What was your favorite part about recess today or where did you play?

  • What color is the bathroom door?

 

  •  Let them know that as they get dropped off, you will be writing down something they did that morning that you especially loved and that you will share it with them upon pick-up.

4. STEPLADDER APPROACH FOR SEPARATION ANXIETY

It can be tempting to simply let a child avoid situations where she might feel separation anxiety. If we choose them solely because our child is anxious about those things, we will simply be proving to the child that there IS something to fear in those situations and we are telling them (without meaning to) that we do not think they have the courage or skills to cope with it.

Instead, you can try the stepladder approach.

The first rung of your stepladder is the thing your child fears the least. This might be as simple as leaving your child in another room while you take a little break in the bathroom, or leaving her at home with another family member for 10 minutes while you walk around the block. If necessary, offer a reward to the child when you return.

Once your child experiences less fear around the first step, give lots of praise and encouragement!

Then you take the next step. This might be dropping her off for 30 minutes at a family members house, or for a very short playdate with a friend.

If those steps are too far apart, pull back and make very small changes instead. (There are some great examples in this article.) 

As your child moves up the stepladder to longer separations, she will grow in confidence!

5. SOCIAL STORIES AND BOOKS

Social stories are specific descriptions of normal, everyday things. Books and social stories give a child a framework so they know what to do when confronted with certain situations.

A social story can help a child with anxiety in several ways:

  • It shows the situation from a child’s perspective.
  • It helps the child have appropriate expectations about the situation.
  • It gives the child the chance to have some control over what they will experience.

Social stories can be written for your young child, but if you let her have some say in how the story will go, you will give your child a sense of control over her life. This sense of control can be really important to a child experiencing anxiety.

Here’s an example of a social story for separation anxiety. A more general view of social stories is that they are any story that helps your child in a specific situation.

Here are some children’s books that can help with separation, and foster courage:

(you may be able to find read alouds on YouTube):

  1. I Don’t Want to Go to School by Nancy Pando & Kathy Voerg
  2. The Invisible String by Patrice Karst & Geoff Stevenson
  3. The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn
  4. Alma & the Worry Stone by Sara Townsend and Hannah Teakle 
  5. Second Grade Holdout by Audrey Vernick
  6. Don’t be Afraid to Drop by Julia Cook
  7. Little Tree by Loren Long
  8. The Koala Who Could by Rachel Bright
  9. When You are Brave by Pat Zietlow Miller 
  10. What to Do When You Don't Want to Be Apart: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Separation Anxiety Kristen Lavallee PhD

6. GOODBYE RITUAL

Goodbye rituals create structure and routine in the separation process. The key with rituals is that you need to do them the same way each time, or they won’t be comforting for your child. Make sure you pick something you can follow through with!

Examples of goodbye rituals:

  • a special hug or a handshake, done the exact same way each time you separate
  • a special phrase you say each time you leave (i.e. parent says – “see ya later” child says – “alligator”
  • create a special signal or hand motion with your child, that you use when you separate
  • Hug or kiss the transitional object before the student leaves the house or car and tell them that anytime they touch the object, it is like getting a hug or kiss from parents.
  • Waving from their spot in line – this encourages them to get out of the car which can be a tough first step for kids.

Additional Resources:

 

powerp

Some of our families may need a little extra help with food throughout the year.

The Issaquah School District partners with the Issaquah Food & Clothing Bank to send home Power Packs. Power Packs are a weekly bag of non-perishable food items sent home with students in need.

Please contact the Cascade Ridge School Counselor, Carla Geraci
(425) 837-5556 or email GeraciC@issaquah.wednet.edu
for more information and to register your child today.

Please note that you can register with the Issaquah Food and Clothing Bank to receive additional food items including fresh produce, holiday meals and to register for the Holiday Gift Barn.

 

  • Counseling and Student Well-Being